Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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