I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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