Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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