I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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