"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
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