But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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