Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
