There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
