Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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