i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Randomize
