There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
