so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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