Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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