bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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