I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
