Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize