so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
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