Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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