its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
