butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
