You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
