While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize
