i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
