tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
