I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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