Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
