there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
splinters make it hard to masturbate
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize
