I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
