Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
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