he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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