Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Randomize