They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize