I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Randomize