since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
