so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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