No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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