We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Randomize
