Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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