True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Randomize
