I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
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