she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
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