I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
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