I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
