My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
