So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
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