we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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