think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
