Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
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