I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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