hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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