I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
