bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize