So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
