party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
