every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
