drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
