Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Randomize
