It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
