this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
