Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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