Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
