called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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