i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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