Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
