Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Randomize
