That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
