the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
