Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Screwed.edu
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize