remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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